I remember thinking I don’t have women I look up to

I see my friends having women as idols, adoring them, liking what they wear, posting them on their Instagram stories just like me posting any celebrity I’m into (Mark Lee🤦🏻‍♀️)

My friends have favorite women YouTubers

Women singers

Women designers

Women artists

I often look back at the things I find comfort in

My favorite YouTubers are men (Korean Englishman, Raditya Dika, Try Guys)

My favorite artists are men (Takashi Murakami, Keith Haring, Kaws, Bobby Hundreds, Mike Shinoda)

I follow more men’s fashion than women’s

I’ve never been really into K-Pop girl groups either, I know their songs and I listen to them sometimes, but I never really remember who is who

I wondered what’s wrong

I think you know by now that I love thinking, that’s what I do

Several things came across my mind

Maybe because I was mostly raised by male figures? (My grandpa, my 2 uncles)

Maybe it was because when my mom was pregnant with me she wanted a boy? (Yes, I asked lol)

I even questioned myself things that seem ridiculous but (I think) quite valid, such as “Why am I not girly enough?”

I know that I am a woman, I know that I am attracted to men (right, ugh)

But why don’t I ever have the same interest in women figures as my friends do?

But then I came across women like Jessi, Naomi Osaka, Naomi Watanabe

And for the first time, I see something in them that I can see in myself

Naomi Osaka isn’t exactly the loud type like Jessi & Naomi Watanabe but what they have in common are they’re confident, they don’t fit into the standards of beauty that I was faced with since I was a kid, they love what they do, they persevere and they reach for their dreams

Other women do this too, of course, there are powerful women all around, but I’m glad to finally feel something like this

That I can idolize women too! And I don’t need to change myself to fit into a certain narrative ❤️