notesfrom204

Free for me to fill
Free for me to mend
What a blessing it is to live

________________________

It’s no strange thing that we worry about life

What’s there to come

What’s happening right now

What has already passed

Yet, every so often, the thoughts suffocate us,

To the point that we overlook that life is just like a shapeless mold,

A blank canvas, giving us the freedom to shape it, to color it,

In any way we want

Isn’t it great to have all that power?

--

--

But at the same time, I realize I have been doing new things so it makes sense that I feel overwhelmed

I am in a new environment

I am in a new mental state

There are numerous things that I’m not familiar with

I hate that I keep making mistakes each day

I hate not knowing exactly what I’m capable of

I hate shutting up

But it feels like the wires in my brain just want to stay like that

And I feel like I can’t ask for help

--

--

And that’s okay

The love I give isn’t always equal to the love I receive

It’s something that I thought I understood

But I was lying to myself cause underneath it all

I was craving for more

I want to appreciate all the love that comes my way, genuinely

What is easy and infinite for me to give isn’t always the same to others

They’re also trying their best

That doesn’t mean they love me any less

--

--

With wide-open arms
Free of judgment

I long to be held again
The warmth radiating through my body
My guards, let down

I long for the day where the skies become clear again
A day where I can run with no direction

I miss home
And for now, I can only hope

--

--

How do you dismiss intrusive thoughts?

A directionless helpless rage

A ball of flame

Bouncing from one side to the other

There must be a way to handle it

A way to put out the fire

I used to scream

But I no longer do

I used to isolate myself

But I no longer do

Like a lit candle

I’ll wait for the wind to deal with it

It’s uncomfortable

But that’s the only way I grow

--

--